But here's the thing, in denying our inner rhythms, our yearnings, the changes that call us, we can become shells of ourselves – barely awake to the different seasons of our lives that long to be lived. We can become asleep to the beauty of our lives unfolding because we're too busy making ends meet.
As young adults there can be a sense of invincibility that buoys you along from one adventure to the next, living in the moment, following your heart, without a second 'I better not because what if...' thought. And things have a way of working themselves out when you're that adaptable and free. As we get older it's common to become resistant to change – we find comfort in the known – the every day pleasures like sitting on the same seat on the train, ordering the same coffee from the same cafe each morning and loving one's slippers and the couch at the end of the day. Nothing wrong with this at all (I love my slippers!) but as creatures of comfort/habit are we less inclined to take the less travelled road? Why does our need for security become the dominating driver rather than following our instincts and doing feels right? My theory is if we're not careful our capacity for being agile can diminish with age. With overrun nervous systems, information overload and fear-fuelling bad news, it's not surprising that our trust in following our hearts becomes overshadowed by the mind's sensible ways. Layer on mortgage and family responsibilities, the opportunities, space and energy to attune to and truly answer one's calling can be limited. So where does that leave us? Stuck and half baked. Stuck between a good dependable life of comfort and the promise of new possibilities on the horizon. Staying with the known, while it feels safe, can mean you don't embark on new paths. It means you're not willing to take the leap and embrace the new as the risk of losing the comfort of the known is too great. It means you dream of the leap but go nowhere and this stunts your growth. It is like being a plant that is pot bound – it doesn't have space to evolve and sprout it's new growth for the world to see (it can survive but it doesn't thrive). If we are each born with unique soul seeds of potential, surely it's important that we water them. Surely it's important we give them the right conditions to thrive. And though it may seem scary to step into the unknown, surely trusting the life that has brought you this far is warranted. And surely it's better than feeling smothered staying in an (albeit trusty) old pot that you've outgrown and wondering if this is it. I'm excited (and a bit scared) to be taking the leap into a new pot (or potentially garden) by undertaking Body Poetry Yoga Teacher Training next month. I wish you all the courage and trust to take the leap to new possibilities that are calling you. Don't die wondering.
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Expression of your feelings is not welcome so it's no wonder that being emotional becomes such a private and uncommon affair. Bottom line is, people don't like feelings that don't feel good. Funny that.
We're very adept at keeping our feelings hidden, so much so that when we do feel something unpleasant, we don't know what do – we run to the hills! We keep ourselves busy to 'keep our minds off things' because we fear what facing our feelings may do to us. We are expert at distracting ourselves from feeling shit. But what if allowing ourselves to feel our shit, like really allowing it, is key to it being able to move on? The word emotion, derives from Latin 'emotere', meaning energy in motion. So when viewed from this perspective it makes sense for our feelings to be honoured and allowed so they can move, rather than pushed to the side of 'I'm in control here' and swept under the carpet of 'I can't deal with this'. I remember when my son was little, he could be full of delight one minute, then in tears the next, so moved by his experience from moment to moment. The tears would pass as quickly as they came – after being allowed to have a good cry – he'd simply move on to the next experience. So open and pure and fully alive. In suppressing and ignoring our unpleasant feelings are we denying our true natures? What if our sensitivity, our feelings, our 'being emotional' are key to living authentic soulful lives? Not being emotional is part of being grown up but I think it actually doesn't help us grow at all. I'm not suggesting we return to our childlike ways and have tantrums in public when we don't get what we want. But I do think there's a lot to be said for being open to allowing your feelings, for not beating yourself up for having them – for treating them as an essential part of you. I'm starting to notice and honour my non-feel-good feelings more and more (rather than ignore them and hope they'll go away) and I'm finding a greater sense of ease by doing so. If you'd like to try it, next time you find yourself 'triggered' and snapping at the dog or significant other for something insignificant, take a moment to check in with yourself and see what's really going on – to enquire and acknowledge how you feel beneath your surface irritations. In giving yourself space to be honest with yourself and feel your feelings – to meet your own emotional needs – you'll feel more true. You may also not feel the need to bite anyone's head off and that's a bonus. Give it try – I promise you'll be fine. |
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November 2022
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